Danette Mahabeer (Domestic Violence Survivor) Q&A
A: Having
experienced Domestic Violence first hand has led me to write this very
inspiring book in the form of a guide to help other domestic violence
victims across the globe to be better able to identify the signs to look for
and how to be proactive when dealing with an abuser. As a Domestic Violence
Survivor, I strongly believe that God placed it on my heart to write this
book.
Q: How
will your book empower and help those individuals who are victims of domestic
violence when they open it up to read it?
A: The
book LEAVE ALIVE! was specifically written in the form of a guide to help
current victims of domestic violence. This book will not only help current
victims identify the signs of abuse, but also empower them to take the brave
and necessary steps to end the abuse. Each chapter contains a Bible scripture
to help current victims identify with God's words and promises for
them.
Q: Being
a victim of domestic violence, when do you realize the moment that you say,
"I have had enough" and walk away from that relationship? Does that
moment ever come?
A: There
is no scripted answer to this question. Each victim's experience is unique. For
me personally, it took the moment I saw my abuser on top of me while I was
seven months pregnant with his baby, with his fist and knuckles pressing into
my ears while using his other hand to hold both my hands over my head. I saw my
life flashed before me and remembered hearing these specific words coming out
of my own mouth, asking him as he sat over me in rage and anger, "are you
trying to make me lose this baby?" That was the moment I said "I had
enough" and walked away from my abuser for good. That moment will look
different for each victim because some victims are stronger than others, some
will come to realization earlier than others, and some will keep going back
until unfortunately they die. What I do know is that the "I had
enough" moment for every victim of domestic violence comes at a point when
it's life and death.
Q: Are
there any beginning signs that are shown in a relationship that an individual
may need to know or be aware of before getting more involved with their
partner?
A: Absolutely.
There are many early signs to pay close attention to when trying to identify an
abuser or an abusive relationship. Abusers tend to rush you into making long
term commitments in a short term time frame. After only dating my
abuser for one month, he proposed and wanted to get married immediately at
the courthouse. This hindered me from seeing him for who he truly was. Another
sign to pay close attention to is jealousy. If someone calls you twenty times
in a day and wants to know literally everything you do by the hour, take heed.
This at first may be perceived as he or she is really into me. This is a sign
of obsession.
Q: After
going through such a horrific situation of being a victim of domestic violence,
what are some steps that one may need to practice on a regular basis to begin
the healing process?
A: The
healing process starts with reconnecting with God and allowing his truth to
remind you that you are loved. It may also be necessary for domestic violence
victims to participate in post traumatic counseling sessions to help
alleviate the trauma and anxiety. This type of counseling is
effective in allowing victims to heal the brokenness and pain they have
experienced.
Q: What words of encouragement or advice would you share with those who are victims of violence, however, feel as if they have no way out?
A: The first step to ending your abuse is breaking the silence. If no one knows you are being abused, no one can help you. Open up to someone you trust. You are not alone. There are advocacy centers and other resources available to domestic violence victims. I was seven months pregnant and undocumented when I left my abuser. I was at my most vulnerable phase of my life. Today, I am proud to be a Domestic Violence Survivor. If I could, you can!
Q: I
can tell that you have a loving and caring heart when it comes to giving back.
You are a philanthropist and the founder of the Mother Daughter Relationship
(M.D.R.) Foundation. What sparked in you that inspired you to want to become a
philanthropist and the founder of the Mother Daughter Relationship (M.D.R.)
Foundation?
A: Throughout
my life’s journey, struggles, and success, my mother, Melaney, has always been
there with me and for me. She supported, prayed with, encouraged, cried with,
and celebrated me. She is my mentor and my best friend. Over the years, we
have continued to enhance and nurture our mother-daughter relationship and bond.
When my daughter came into my life, I felt a love I have never felt before
coming from such a small human, and I have finally realized what my mother’s
love for me felt like and the powerful love she also receives from me.
I am
very blessed to have a strong mother-daughter bond and relationship with both
my mother and my own daughter. I was inspired by the three-generational
mother-daughter relationship that we have, so I have decided to launch my own
foundation called Mother-Daughter Relationship (M.D.R.). The mission is to
nurture and promote the mother-daughter relationship and bond from generation
to generation.
For more information
about Danette Mahabeer please visit
Www.Instagram.com/LeaveAliveToday
Www.Facebook.com/LeaveAliveToday
Purchase Book
https://www.authorhouse.com/Bookstore/BookDetail.aspx?BookId=SKU-001217933
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